The logic of self

Funny how at times throughout your life, the right message will land at exactly the right time and upend your perspective. Sheril Mathews article this month – Logic of Self vs. Logic of Role (and why confusing the two is a trap) – landed in my inbox just as I’ve been thinking more about what my role requires of me in this ever changing world.

Self vs. Role

In Sheril’s article, he writes:

One focuses on ‘Who am I?’ The other on ‘What does this role or situation require of me right now?’. We take things personally because in critical moments, the boundary between who we are and what we do dissolves. But conflating the two is a trap and makes you more fragile.

When you care deeply about your work and the people you serve, it can become easy to blur the line between the ‘you as a person’ and the ‘you in your role’. As Sheril points out, that’s when fragility can show – when you take things personally that aren’t aimed at you, but at the role you hold.

Keep the two seperate

Step back and recognise that challenges coming your way are aimed at the role, not the person.

You’re the focal point, not a target. Workplace dynamics are like a soccer match. When the opposing team tackles you, they aren’t doing it because they hate you personally, but because you have the ball.

Staying alert to this distinction is vital for stability. If you understand that people are reacting to your role and the issues you represent, you gain control over whether your self-worth is at stake.

If you’re new to leadership and/or struggling to balance self with role, take a minute to read Sheril’s article – the message might land at exactly the right time for you too.